I Drink Hippie Blood

Goodbye my friend it's hard to die...

2006-11-26T03:40:11Z

I'm going to murder this LiveJournal sooner or later, in the interest of leaving as few traceable accounts of my past as possible.

My new blog (which is just writing experiments as I try to figure out voice and phrasing for the novels I'm working on) is at http://kalisphoenix.bloggoing.com/

If you are on Facebook, as mentioned in another post, it's considerably easier to keep track of when I write.

I apologize to everyone on my friend's list for being extremely scarce the past couple years. Most people I've barely communicated with in months and months. It's not that I've stopped being a withdrawn, emo-in-spirit, pale, wan, maybe-jacking-off-a-bit-too-much kinda guy -- I'm still writing, more than ever in fact, but it's almost all planning and stylistic exercises as opposed to more-or-less coherent narratives.

I'm taking 23 credit hours this semester at the University of Akron, so I'll be kind of scarce the next two weeks, as I complete essays and presentations and final exams...

...but starting in mid-December, I'm going to be writing every day. Sara and I made a deal (much like Dostoevsky and Wife, Piers Anthony and Wife, et al.) concerning our fiscal and labor arrangements -- how much I write, how much I work as a wage slave -- and of course it depends largely on the level of responsibility I will be able to sustain for the next eighteen months or so.

So be hard on me when I slack, be proud of me when I excel, and be unforgiving when I slip. You all have always been very good at that.

Anyway: I am here, friendly, and open-minded if any of y'all want to reestablish some sort of contact. If not, then take care of yourselves :)

This journal will self-destruct on New Year's Eve.

My Facebook.

2006-11-23T10:07:54Z

Yeah, people finally @#$%ing got me on there.

Oh well. At least it's not Myspace.

http://uakron.facebook.com/profile.php?id=39118222

Just updating to FUCK WITH YOU!

2006-03-11T21:38:58Z

Actually, I'm posting because Phil isn't online and LJ keeps fucking with me when I try to comment on his journal.

Hey, Phil:
The crab -- I posted on my forums that it looks like a naked David Lee Roth laying on his side and wearing chaps made from his ex-wigs. You should IM me. I have an idea for a project that might be kinda cool, or it might be completely lame and useless and exhausting. A source code wiki, basically. Maybe throwing some XML in. Might be invaluable for code sharing, since it could conceivably be like a central CVS. Probably impractical for about sixty different reasons.

Other ppl:
OMG LOL WTF FBI. It's been a while. What's new? I'm still married. Still writing. Still tinkering with computers. Still broke. Moving to the Akron area the first week of May. Moving to Oregon in August of 2007, hopefully. Gonna start kicking out puppies in 2010. Between 2007 and 2010, Sara and I are going to take a road trip to the Baja California, to Mexico and Honduras and El Salvador, to South America down the west coast, to the southernmost tip of South America, and then come up the east coast. We're taking the trip with Jason "Rat" Bradley, Kevin "Mountain Man" Ernst, and possibly some other strange individuals from my Navy days. Good times.

Apple still pwnz j00.

kalisphoenix @ 2005-11-14T16:58:00

2005-11-14T22:05:57Z

kudra wanted to see some wedding pictures. This picture isn't from our wedding, but it adequately displays just how much weight I've gained recently.

kalisphoenix @ 2005-11-14T11:29:00

2005-11-14T16:30:40Z

I got married on Saturday.

New site :-/

2005-08-19T01:02:14Z

Got a new site here (with a blog here). You can also see all of my music (and listen, and download) here. The username is defacto and the password is defacto. That should work.

(Hosted on a Apple Power Macintosh G3-1GHz with 320MB RAM running OS X Tiger and sitting under my desk)

Best Poem Ever

2005-06-18T23:33:24Z

I am Spawn of Fuckstick; hear me roar --
and no one on Defacto cares anymore
about an ex-Jew behind a jailhouse door
with newspaper hats and a mushroom spore.

I bit into an apple and shat out the core
and called it a fuckstick and angrily roared
and no one on Defacto gets high anymore
with a sick ex-Jew beating down the door
with old cowboy hats and a mushroom spore.

A fish saw evil dead, was unmoved by the gore
And I sold an Apple still sweet to the core
Veeg called fish a fuckstick and angrily roared
that "No one appreciates Sam Raimi no more!"
And a bored ex-Jew stared at the hole in the door
waiting for puters and syringes of spores.

Flower's chemical innocence is intact no more
As the FBI swarms her and FOX films the gore,
and I shop for processors with a dual-core,
the sight of Opterons causing my eardrums to roar.
But alas, I can't afford fast machines no more --
And a broken ex-Jew floated off to sea on a door,
wondering when Fed Ex will deliver the spores.

I violated my fiancee last night on the floor
and our dog's food dish will hold food no more.
I sold my cameras and could not film the gore
when Sara fought back and shook me down deep in the core.
Sara saw Daisy wet the carpet and roared
and Daisy will not be roaming the house anymore --
And a Nihilist was startled by a knock at the door;
behind it was a DEA agent with a syringe of spores.

I don't think our families understand that we're poor
even though we eat, shit, and sleep on the floor
and Daisy will not dance and growl anymore.
But yay! I had a grocery bag to catch all the gore
We chopped and then stewed her with chewed apple cores.
"We'll pawn the carpet," Sara panted and roared,
But the pawn shop won't buy our carpet no more.
And the couple was unsurprised by a knock at the door;
'twas Jared and Janette with chili and some spores.

Even though a blowjob would settle the score,
I don't think it'd change the fact that we're poor.
Unless Sara and I filmed our sex on the floor,
but alas! I don't have a Hi8 camcorder anymore.
This is probably a good thing: imagine the gore
if I had electronics but we ate trashed apple cores!
Why Sara would gnash her teeth, and Daisy would roar
and I think my blood would likely litter the floor.
I hope Sara would be distracted by a knock at the door,
Renters demanding their rent and reporting the spores.

Though I love a good blowjob, I'm not much of a whore;
I prefer to be receiving when it's that kind of score,
and for fifteen or more minutes I don't feel that poor,
until Sara collapses, passed out on the floor.
I don't really have the urge to film it anymore,
since my belly is swollen with lard, flab, and gore.
I should be bulimic until I am naught but a core.
Then Sara could be heard for miles 'round to roar
scattering carcasses of promiscuous sluts on the floor
As the big-titted women line up at the door,
jousting for position to swallow my spores.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Venture Capital.

2005-06-13T18:51:54Z

Getting married in November. Broke.

Selling everything I own.

Buying 90 Sun Ultra 10's with the support and venture capital of testing4l. Intend to sell for profit. Possibly get honeymoon.

*dances*

dances

2004-11-09T04:32:38Z

Wassup, everybody?

*wanders off to seduce his girlfriend*

kalisphoenix @ 2004-09-15T02:34:00

2004-09-15T06:35:02Z

Oh yeah. I'm engaged now :-)

Greetings.

2004-08-28T06:10:00Z

Nathan,
It has come to our attention that you are behaving dangerously and without any concept of humanity or responsibility. You have murdered the gift of life.
It has been apparent that you are uninspired and unproductive; the key to your mind is swimming in an ocean.
So stay up all night. Never go to sleep again, lose your mine. A Fishhook is good for the Sole. Watch out you don't Flounder. Bleeeeeeeeeem it up through your palate. In hail through the amygdala. Sprinkle stardust on your brain. Never go to sleep again.
Rip your clothes, dance like a madman. Imagine in your slumber the jagged blade sunrise and know we will be waiting.

Nathan,
Etwas kommen nach zu eBen droertischen. Du bist ein groBe mahlen sie grieben. Meinen frauleinen sind nach Ansholm fahren. Princoezich Feinkrauten sagt in Gott fuer freischen paBt.

Natan,
Grus bedact sei pondreich nacht mis vaulut passeu lipps. Cra'en berus leu mis bekompt ins d'rakonoeisch a.

Hmmph.

2004-07-13T14:43:36Z

I caught a snake. It's two inches long, blind, has only been reported once before in Ohio, and reproduces by parthenogenesis. That is, its zygotes divide on their own without the intervention of male snakes. According to some, it's the smallest snake in the world. It's called a Brahminy Blind Snake.

I got a new computer. AMD Athlon 3200+ w/ 1GB R400 RAM, Geforce 5500 w/ 256MB RAM, 3 X 80GB HD, 1Gb LAN, fans out the ass, and some other jazz. It was $600.

I got Sara a new computer. AMD Athlon 3000+ w/ 256MB RAM (gonna fix that), Geforce 500 w/ 128MB RAM, 160GB HD, 16X DVD-RW, etc. And she got a 15" LCD monitor.

My website's up. http://www.kalisphoenix.com/phpBB/ That's where I am 95% of the time I'm online.

Oh yeah: if you see me on AIM and talk to me and I don't respond, it's because I'm AWAY. If you don't see an AWAY MESSAGE, it's because AIM lost the connection and signed me back in. Certain people have complained about my apparent "deceptive" actions in not having an away message up all the time. Well, sorry. I don't really have the time to conform to your versions of Netiquette.

My Life with the Thrill Kill Toshiba

2004-06-30T19:01:29Z

Okay, so I got this Toshiba Satellite. It's the ugliest laptop ever made, pretty much. It's fat, small, and this horrible lifeless gray color.

It's possessed of incredible levels of technology, though.

Well, not really. It's got a 486 chip running at (I think) 100 MHz. Yeah, that's right. Pre-Pentium. But it does boast an astonishing 16MB of RAM.

What's it good for? Well, it runs Windows 3.11 and plays some old games that won't play on newer computers.

And it runs Linux well. Very well, actually. The computer's practically useless with Windows. The network card won't operate at 100Mbps and the display is trapped in 256 colors. It kinda sucks. But with Linux, it just zooms along. I have even gotten it to run Windowmaker, which is a quite neat little desktop. I admit that it can't run too many applications at one time, but it is pretty neat to do all the things that Linux does.

However: I already have a few computers running Linux. And while Linux makes this computer almost as functional as any other computer I have, I thirst for something a bit more interesting. After all, what is the point of having a computer collection if they all run the same operating system?

Windows 3.11 is kinda interesting in a car crash sort of way. But I don't really want to run it. What I do want to run is 4.
BeOS 4 was actually sorta geared to accept computers of this generation and therefore might be 1) an operating system I don't have installed elsewhere, and 2) useful.

So yeah. But the problem is that the laptop has no CD-ROM. How do I solve this?

I have:
1. a 20GB hard drive with Gentoo GNU/Linux installed,
2. a BeOS 4 CD and accompanying boot floppy,
3. countless computers,
4. a working network.

So I'll:
1. Hook my Mac Performa to the network and boot it into Linux.
2. Copy the BeOS CD to the hard drive of the Performa, creating an "ISO."
3. Hook my Toshiba to the network and boot it into Linux.
4. Copy the BeOS CD "ISO" to the hard drive of the Toshiba over the network (yay Linux).
5. Partition the disk of the Toshiba, leaving space for a CD-sized partition.
6. Reboot the Toshiba so that the changes take effect.
7. Copy the "ISO" to the partition so that there is a section of my disk that looks just like the CD-ROM.
8. Repartition the hard drive so that Windows can find it, leaving the CD partition intact.
9. Reboot with a Windows "Rescue Disk." Partition and format the hard drive, leaving the CD partition intact.
10. Reboot with the BeOS boot floppy.
11. It *should* see Windows drives and then a CD-ROM drive containing a copy of the BeOS install CD.
12. It *should* load BeOS off the CD.
13. Then I *should* be able to delete the Windows partitions and replace them with BeOS partitions.
14. Voila! I *should* have been able to install BeOS on a laptop with no CD-ROM.

The problem, naturally, is all the *shoulds*. The difficulty might be getting the partition table of the hard drive to lie to BeOS and tell the floppy that it's a CD when it's really a hard drive and no CD is present. I guess what I could do is insert the floppy and boot it before I do any work. If it comes up with any sort of hardware error, I might be simply screwed and deserve whatever I get for wrecking a perfectly reasonable Linux install.

I Guess I Could Say Some More

2004-06-29T19:37:12Z

The Soft Tick of a Cooling Engine

I'm not sure when it was that Lawrence decided to wear my rectum for a yarmulke, but it must not have been long after that.

Dawn crawled across the field...
...looking for her contact lens.

No, really, fuck you.

Another development whose progress should be noted is that Sara and I are zooming up on our second monthiversary of living together. It's working very well.

And that I finally have a bit of the time and inclination required to fashion my book in the form intended for it by Mura'Quisath, the God of Evil and Seditious Pornography. Yea, in kalisphoenix's head Mura'Quisath fhtagn.

scratches his balls

2004-06-29T19:16:56Z

Hey.

How ya doin'?

Been a while. *yawns*

I haven't had Internet access since early May. So kindly remove your claws from my rectum.

I got a DVD burner. And one of those USB memory stick thingies. Still have quite a few computers. Had to throw out a Powerbook because it croaked. Still trying to get MacOS on an old CD-ROM-less Powerbook. Still trying to find a use for my Mac Performa 5400. Still trying to find a use for my NeXTStation. Still trying to find a way to get BeOS 4 on a Toshiba Satellite.

I'm writing, although mostly in a concentrated organizational phase right now.

kalisphoenix @ 2004-04-07T01:22:00

2004-04-07T05:21:47Z

kalisphoenix @ 2004-03-31T02:01:00

2004-03-31T07:02:24Z

Fuck's sake! I just realized that the story I posted two entries ago was preformatted and thus made everyone's browser windows like 500 feet wide. Mea culpa, mea culpa.

kalisphoenix @ 2004-03-31T01:54:00

2004-03-31T06:54:39Z

Anyone else of the opinion that I'm in a rut?

Back to writing an atrocity.

Mother fucker.

2004-03-10T07:03:23Z

Hello, peeps.

New events in my life:

I have quit smoking.
I have 15 computers in my room. Most of which actually run. And Linux, at that.
I'm taking a lot of creative writing classes. And a lot of philosophy classes. I'm taking seven classes, in fact.
This is my Spring Break.
Sara and I got high off Nyquil today and ate at Chi-Chi's. It was something else.
http://www.MacHall.com/ This guy lives down the hall from me.
rain_conspiracy has promised me some acid because I gave WinXP to him. Don't let him forget.

I'm still here in Ohio. Still crazy about aflowerinthemud. Still a writer and a philosopher. Still sober -- no alcohol at all for about seven months. Still refusing to drive a car. Still sworn to wear naught but black if Bush is reelected. Still angry. Still bitter. Still hung like a goddamn horse.

Yours truly,
Nate.

My Girlfriend is Strange.

2004-01-19T00:45:13Z

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2373821846&category=28123

Hahahaha

2003-11-24T18:50:38Z

"Not Exactly the Most Reliable Way to Run a War, IMHO"
by Roy Rivenburg.

News item: The U.S. Army is considering a program to give every soldier a handheld computer equipped with wireless Internet access. "This has the potential to greatly enhance the Army's ability to fight," said one defense analyst.
Then again...

E-mail from: Sgt. Bill Koe.
To: B Company Troops
Subject: Attack enemy position NOW!
Operation Desert Drizzle is now officially underway, men. This is a tightly coordinated land, sea, and air attack. Our specific mission is detailed in the attached map file. I'm also sending a jpg file containing a blessing from our chaplain.

From: Pvt. G. Pyle
To: Sgt. Bill Koe
Sarge, we need to postpone. Henderson's server crashed; Ballard and Smith are in the middle of downloading songs off Napster, and I just got to Level Eight on Donkey Kong, which I've never done before. I can't stop now.

From: Cpl. Agam
To: Sgt. Bill Koe
Sir, there's a virus in the chaplain attachment. It won't open.

From: B Company
To: 38th Artillery Brigade
Dudes, we're pinned down by sniper fire :-(
Need you to shell the coordinates marked on attached file.

From: 38th Artillery Brigade
To: B Company
Roger. Fed your data into Microsoft Blitzkrieg 5.0. Should take care of sniper problem. ;-)

From: B Company
To: 38th Artillery Brigade
Oops, you just blew up the Belgian Embassy. LOL

From: 38th Artillery Brigade
To: B Company
Ha. I knew we should've upgraded to Blitzkrieg 5.2. Hang on, will try again. In meantime, check out the babes at www.hotmilitarymamas.com

From: Col. Robert Hogan
To: 29th Regiment -- All Officers and Soldiers
Preliminary reconaissance indicates that 38% of the Air Force's "smart bombs" failed to detonate or veered off course. Recommend logging onto E-Trade ASAP and selling your defense stocks before news breaks back home.

From: Pfc. Ryan
To:killkillkill@aol.com, bmurray@doowahdiddy.org, binghampton@makewarnotlove.net, harrison@UNPeacekeeper.com, duvall22@lovethesmellofnapalminthemorning.com
This is not a joke! I am forwarding this e-mail because the person who sent it to me studied law in ROTC and says it's for real. The U.S. Army and Microsoft are considering a merger to form a corporate military power capable of ruling the world.
As a prelude to assuming total control over every aspect of our lives, Microsoft is running an e-mail beta test. When you forward this e-mail to other soldiers, the CIA will track it and the Army will increase your veteran's benefits by $5 a year per forward.
If you send it to 100 people, you will also get a Silver Star. IF you forward it to 1000 people, you will be named commander of an entire city under the new Microsoft regime. Maybe this is bogus, but what have we got to lose???!?!?!? Send this e-mail to every soldier you know!

From: B Company
To: Allied Command HQ
May Day! We've just captured the enemy's secret antiaircraft headquarters but need IMMEDIATE REINFORCEMENTS or we could be driven out.

From: Mail Delivery Subsystem
To:B Company
DELIVERY FAILURE. Error code 255: Message did not reach intended recipient due to system delays. Try again later.

The Great Friends List Clean-Up Volume 12.

2003-11-19T04:03:43Z

Once again, I find myself looking at my friends page and wondering who the fuck some of you people are.

Okay, that’s a bit less diplomatic than I intended.

There are a lot of people on my friends list.

Let me rephrase that: There were a lot of people on my friends list. I just defriended about half of the people on my list because:

1) I can’t remember who you are.
2) I don’t think I ever knew you.
3) Your posts about molesting dead horses are really getting to me.
4) You wouldn’t know me if I bit you on the ass.

Sorry if I defriended anyone who didn’t deserve to be defriended. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate any of you. I just can’t see it being very beneficial to have to go through three pages of my friends’ posts and only seeing like three names that I recognize :-/

A Dissertation on the Value of Old Computers

2003-11-18T09:22:25Z

Note: If you know anyone with old computers, feel free to inform them of my quest. Ye shall be rewarded handsomely for ruining my sex life.

Just kidding, aflowerinthemud. :-( Please don’t hit me anymore. :-(

A few posts ago, I mentioned that I am gathering up computers obsolete by today’s terms.

redhairedmaiden

To answer this question, I must first show you a few pictures:

This is a WICAT (World Institute for Computer-Aided Training) 150. It was manufactured in 1981. Its CPU was a Motorola MC 68000 running at 8MHz, and it possessed a whopping 256KB of RAM. After all, THIS COMPUTER WAS A NETWORK FILE AND APPLICATION SERVER. It was, however, able to run a computer-aided drafting program for three people at the same time, and could actually still surf the internet, believe it or not. The hard drive was 15MB. The asking price for this little gem was $9, 450.

This is the EACA Video Genie 1. It was designed to clone the ever-popular Tandy TRS-80 Model I. This little monster was marketed in Hong Kong in 1980. Unlike the WICAT, it was manufactured for home use. It boasted a Zilog Z80A processor running at a jaw-dropping 1.8 MHz. It also had enough memory to serve any purpose: 16KB. In the unlikely circumstance that you needed a real powerhouse of a home computer, you would purchase new memory chips and SOLDER THEM ONTO THE TOP OF THE EXISTING CHIPS.
Perhaps the most impressive feature of the model was its video resolution. A true graphics machine, it could display in a whopping 128 x 48 x 1 mode. In other words, measure a space about 1 3/4“ x 2/3”. That’s the graphical capabilities of this li’l Asian Monster. Oh yeah, and it’s monochrome. Remember the old green-print-on-black-screen deals? That’s what I’m talking about. Cost? Around $3000. Did I mention that this computer DID NOT EVEN HAVE A HARD DRIVE?

Needless to say, if I go down to check my mail some day and discover one of those babies waiting for me, I would probably shit my pants. Then I’d defriend you, hunt you down, and murder you for sending me something that makes my alarm clock look like a supercomputer.

The Final Computer:

This... is beautiful. The Amiga 4000, released in 1992, is perhaps the greatest computer ever made. It came with (standard) 2MB of chip RAM (specialized RAM used for the sound and video processors, much like sound and video RAM now), as well as 4MB of fast RAM (used by the main CPU).
The main CPU was a 25MHz Motorola 68030/68032 or 68040. The hard drive was a colossal 120MB. The motherboard accepted 3 ISA cards, so that you could STILL, to THIS VERY DAY, unplug a network, modem, or other card from your computer at home and hook it up to the Amiga.
The Amiga was primarily used for video production and music. The effects of such legendary movies as Terminator 2, The Abyss, and Max Headroom were done on Amigas, as well as music from artists like Trent Reznor (if I remember correctly). The Amiga came straight from the factory with four channel stereo sound.
The main strength of the Amiga is its mindblowing upgradeability. The computer can, in theory, utilize a total of 4GB of RAM. 4 GODDAMN GIGABYTES. In addition, there are video cards made that will allow the Amiga to display in a jawdropping and eyeblistering 2000x1500 resolution, with 256 000 simultaneous colors (displayed from a palette of 16.8 million).

If you send me one of these, I will have a goddamn heart attack, eat my head, and then defecate it like the alien in that shitty movie “Dreamcatcher.”

But that’s not what I’m asking, expecting, or even daring to dream.

THE DREAM

As has been previously noted by the esteemed and beautiful aflowerinthemud, I am a nerd. A nerd with a weakness for old computers and Linux. One of Linux’s strengths is that it’ll run on damn near anything. I have heard strange and pathetic rumors of people running Linux on wristwatches, Dick Tracy style.

As I am the owner of only 1 (one) obsolete computer at this time (a 1GHz Duron with 512MB RAM), I find it necessary to extend and redefine my nerdittude by doing the following:

Kalisphoenix.org <-- A vain and ultimately useless attempt to waste even more time than I do already.

At kalisphoenix.org will be a number of computers. I recently came to the conclusion that I should name the computers after mythical creatures and deities. I will share with you my ideas.

Cerberus: A DNS/router. Cerberus was the three-headed dog that guarded the gates of Hades. A DNS server is a computer that says "Hmm... natepr0n.kalisphoenix.org..." and translates that to an IP address, 192.168.0.1 or whatever. A router is a computer that directs traffic around a network, like, for instance, the network I'm creating. This also makes a nifty firewall to keep those prying fuckers out of my purty network. *pets network carefully*

Hippocampus: Hippocampi are horses with fish tails that serve as messengers... so it would seem correct to give this name to the mail server. smtp.kalisphoenix.org and mail.kalisphoenix.org, in other words. Not too important until you get to

Chimera: A chimera was a lion with two extra heads (a dragon and a goat). I'm not exactly sure why, but this sounds like as good a name as any for an FTP server. I figure I can do the public a favor and mirror a few FTP sites that serve agreeable information. Legal, mind you.

Manticore: A manticore was a lion with bat's wings, a scorpion tail, and a human head with three rows of sharp teeth. Hooray for web servers. I'm still not precisely sure why I need a web server, but I'll figure it out eventually.

Cheiron: A reasonable sort, he shared wisdom. With the help of krylo and sundry, I’ll seek to make people stupider by operating a MUD, arguably the greatest waste of time ever invented by man or devil.

Beowulf Clusters: If I actually can acquire that much old equipment, I’m thinking about building one. A Beowulf cluster is a group of relatively frail (not always obsolete, but generally close or absolutely ancient) computers that are linked together. Their processing power is used to work through a particular problem. In this case, perhaps I’d be satisfied with SETI. I’m not sure, though.

Ironically, the hardware requirements for all of these “jobs” are laughable. They don’t require shit. Not very hardware intensive at all, unless you’re running Microsoft.com or something similar. Linux can be installed on an ancient computer and thus its usefulness can be preserved. *nods solemnly* Recycle, folks. Don’t let those little guys just sit and rot.

I know at least one of you is staring at me with hatred saturating your eyes. Hey, don’t look at me. redhairedmaiden just HAD to ask.

kalisphoenix @ 2003-11-17T18:45:00

2003-11-17T23:46:32Z

How long will you live?

I swear to God, it said I'll live to be 69. How funny is that?

In other news, this guy had a chopstick in his head for five years and never noticed.

kalisphoenix @ 2003-11-17T18:12:00

2003-11-17T23:13:38Z

.... Once again, a literary genius leaves me speechless. Or something.

I believe that capital punishment should be used in cases of poor taste.